I stopped rejecting myself.
That’s when love stayed.
Then I spent 12 years guiding brilliant women on how to do the same.
The woman that love wouldn't choose.
It was 2012.
I was severely single — the undisputed Queen of Unrequited Love. The more unavailable the man, the more certain I was that this one was different.
My career was extraordinary. I had already traveled and lived abroad. By every measure that the world could see, I was the woman who had it together.
But love? Intimacy? The warmth of arms I could count on?
That part of my life sat empty and unexplained, like a room I didn't know how to enter.
On New Year's Day I made a public declaration — 2012 would be my Year of Love. I told my Facebook friends, which in retrospect was either the bravest or the most reckless thing I have ever done.
If I was going down, at least it would be in full view.
I went all in. Online. Offline. All the lines. I became a mad, feminine-energy calibrating, dating and love scientist — for my own life.
The first four months were a complete disaster.
Ghosting. Disrespect. Heartache. Confusion.
I was someone who had never met a challenge she couldn't solve — and this one was breaking me in a way I had not prepared for.
Behind the lighter stories I shared publicly, I was drowning in confusion. And if I'm being honest… I questioned if maybe I had no idea who I really was, afterall.
If I kept putting myself out there and no one wanted me, there must've been something I could not see, right?
I'd rather peel my own skin off than admit it at that time. But I felt so humiliated.The moment everything shifted.
After yet another almost-relationship where he "wasn't ready for something serious"… I paused.
And I assessed — the way I would with any other area of my life that I had committed to.
I read everything I could get my hands on about feminine energy and the divine masculine. Most of it was BS tactics and shallow manipulation — but I pulled out the threads of truth.
I tried things. I failed gloriously. I adjusted quickly.
Until finally, something began to change. The patterns started to emerge, like they always did for me before a major breakthrough.
The men I was meeting started responding differently. To commitment. To emotional intimacy. I was learning, in real time, what worked and what didn't. What took me deeper and brought them with me — instead of cutting off the closeness at the knees.
And then came the revelation.
The one moment that changed everything. I noticed a behavior I hadn't truly seen before.
When I would start to like someone — when I really wanted it to work — I became someone completely different.
All of a sudden I was shy, reserved. I kept my deeper, truer thoughts and desires locked away.
I was performing safety instead of living inside it.
I had spent years becoming the most fearless, full version of myself — and then the moment a man interested me, that woman disappeared. I was still carrying beliefs that told me I was too much. That love required a smaller, more… digestible version of me.
The day I recognized the pattern was the day the work truly began.
Not the work of performing differently.
The work of returning to myself. Completely. Without apology. With the full understanding that the man for me needed to meet the real me in order to know I was the woman for him.
The following four months were completely different.
I'd already had eight years of experience in transformational life coaching. So I turned the lens on myself.
I went deeper, slower and gentler into the parts of myself that still didn't believe. That questioned. That needed proof. That felt… incomplete.
This was the beginning of what would become my signature process — the one I now teach my clients.
In that time, something elemental shifted in me. And as always, that led to a change in all that I experienced.
Two brief relationships blossomed and ended gracefully, teaching me that my new approach was working — that real connection was possible when I stopped managing the distance between myself and the people I was meeting.
Then, almost nine months into my Year of Love, I logged into a dating profile I hadn't touched in two months.
And there he was.
Kwae. My now husband. My mirror. My best friend. The man who has loved every version of me I have ever shown him.
September 2012. I sent him a message — "Hi, Mr. Friendly Smile :)"
And the rest, as they say, is a life I didn't know I was capable of living.
What I learned, I devoted myself to sharing.
In 2014, I started Allheart Coach.
Not because I had a business plan. But because I could not hold what I had discovered without offering it to other women.
What I had found wasn't a set of strategies or a system for attracting men. It was something older and more precise than that — a path back to the self that was always the most magnetic, most available, most capable of receiving love.
In the twelve years since, I have worked with thousands of women across every age, background, and relationship history.
Women who could explain their patterns in clinical detail — and were still living inside them.
Women who had tried everything the industry offered and found themselves, somehow, in the same story with a different man's name.
What I know, after all of it, is this:
The wound lives below the level of insight. Understanding is not transformation. The work that actually moves things is not cognitive — it is emotional, energetic, and deeply specific to the woman in front of me.
I go deeper than anyone else is willing to go.
That has always been the differentiator. Not a methodology — a willingness. And 12 years of what happens when someone is willing to go all the way to the root with intuition, compassion and an unflinching commitment to emotional honesty.
I am a trained culinary chef, a collector of quiet mornings, a woman who has never found a Costco or Trader Joe's she didn't love, and the person Kwae calls his Almondy.
I am also the guide who will take you to the place inside yourself where love becomes possible — not as something you find, but as something you finally allow.
If any of this feels resonant somewhere deep inside you — The Devotion Codex is where we begin.
I'll see you inside.
Go Deeper →